
Estudo de candidatura a acabar – e agora? Episódio 4
Com a aproximação do fim do período do estudo de candidatura, aumenta a ansiedade. Lembram-se? Boca seca, pernas a tremer, ansiedade “aos gritos”. Espero? Como assim, espero? Não dá para ser já?
Este sentimento crece à medida que se aproxima o momento em que sentimos que tudo o que podemos fazer está feito e que “resta esperar”. Queremos ver a questão resolvida. Queremos ser pais e mães, queremos a família que ansiámos, queremos tudo e pouco podemos fazer por isso.
Aproxima-se o momento em que o processo deixa de estar “nas nossas mãos”, para viver o seu próprio percurso onde nada do que façamos vai mudar a realidade. É que até aqui tínhamos, pelo menos, a ilusão de que alguma coisa dependia de nós. Havia reuniões, encontros, conversas sobre isto e a nossa intervenção era clara. E a partir daqui? A partir daqui aproxima-se a fase, penso eu, mais complexa do processo. Resta esperar, gerir a expetativa e seguir uma vida que queremos diferentes mas continua igual.
No final desta fase do processo há, ainda, dois momentos muito importantes. O primeiro é a visita das técnicas a casa. No meu caso foi-me pedido que estivessem presentes duas pessoas: uma da família, outra fora da família. Levei a minha irmã e a Joana, uma amiga de toda a vida adulta. Sabia que elas representariam, na perfeição, todas as pessoas à minha volta que torciam pelo sucesso de tudo aquilo que estava a acontecer.
Neste momento entregamos os documentos que definem as nossas pretensões em relação à criança: idade, etnia, condição de saúde, entre muitas outras questões que, até então, não nos tinha ocorrido que nos confrontaríamos com elas. Mas disto falarei noutro post.
Depois falta a formação C. A formação C é composta por 5 sessões que ocorrem quinzenalmente, ao longo de dois meses e que tem como propósito a preparação para a chegada da crinança. Ela acontece, habitualmente, quando se estima que faltará cerca de um ano para a chegada da criança. Como as minha pretensões eram alargadas, logo a seguir ao estudo de candidatura, os seviços da Santa Casa de Lisboa, entenderam que seria apropriado fazer, logo, esta formação.
E assim foi. Terminei o estudo de candidatura em Novembro de 2016 e iniciei a formação C em Fevereiro do ano seguinte. Posso garantir-vos que foi das coisas mais úteis que fiz na vida toda. Primeiro, porque a formação nos prepara, genericamente, para a chegada de uma criança (disse muitas vezes que todas as pessoas candidatas a ser pai ou mãe deviam fazê-la), e depois porque nos confronta com situações práticas, reais, de outras famílias que se formaram pela via da adoção. Mais uma vez, só tenho a aplaudir a competência e empenho das técnicas da SCML que me deram a formação.
Pouco mais de um ano depois, o Duda chegou. No próximo episódio, conto-vos como foi a gestão da ansiedade até ao primeiro abraço.
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