O primeiro abraço – Episódio 11
Estava marcado, então, o dia em que eu sabia que toda a minha vida ia mudar. Só não sabia como. Nem o quanto. Esse dia seria a 12 de Novembro de 2018.
No dia anterior, fiz uma viagem longa, sozinho, com uma velocidade de pensamento que não imaginava ser possível. Chovia torrencialmente. As minhas mãos estavam geladas, o coração acelerado, as pernas a tremer. Fome nem vê-la.
Cheguei ao destino e decidi “fingir” que era normalíssimo estar ali. Jantei com um amigo que mora perto daquela cidade e fui ao cinema sozinho. Até hoje não faço ideia se gostei do filme ou não. Talvez o vejamos, juntos, quando o Duda tiver idade para isso.
Durante a noite acordei às 4h da manhã e, pouco depois, tomei banho e vesti-me e fiquei sentado à espera que fosse dia e que chegasse a hora de o abraçar. De abraçar o meu filho.
Cheguei à casa e tive uma reunião, antes de o conhecer, com as técnicas da casa que me disseram que ele estava ansiosamente à minha espera e que, nesse dia, ao pequeno almoço tinha dito aos seus amigos que não iria à escola, porque o pai estava quase a chegar. Terminada a reunião, sorriram e disseram-me: vamos? Claro que vamos. Não me ocorria mais nada.
Entramos no corredor e alguém o chama. Ele vem, de mão dada com uma funcionária da casa, com um sorriso do tamanho do mundo e, de repente o pequenino era eu. Ele decide largar a mão da senhora e correr para mim como se me conhecesse da vida toda. Abraçou-me. E eu senti que cheguei a casa. Um abraço de vários minutos, com uma criança de quatro anos, num silêncio total e absoluto. Como se mais nada existisse à nossa volta. E uma certeza na minha cabeça e no meu coração: É aqui que pertencemos. Ambos.
Depois abriu o saco que trazia na mão e ofereceu-me o presente do dia do pai. O meu primeiro presente de pai. Entregue pelas mãos pequeninas e quentes do meu filho.
Passaram três anos e não há nada, na vida, que se compare a esta imensidão que é ser pai. E, em particular, ser pai do Duda.
Boa noite. Muito obrigada pela partilha da sua história e muitos parabéns. Estamos no mesmo barco e temos o nosso menino desde janeiro deste ano. Temos audiência marcada para daqui a uns dias, e estamos um pouco apreensivos. Será que poderia partilhar a sua experiência?
Muito obrigada.
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